Missed Him
by CyberSupernatural
Summary: Smile. Voice. Touch. Protection. Love. 2nd chap up. 'Reasons To Smile.' Regret. Pride. Respect. Innocence. Love.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : **Don't belong to me. No suing.

**A/n : **I don't really like drabbles - wait, that doesn't explain why I wrote these! This was just a little idea that got stuck in my head.

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**Missed Him**

**Smile**

He's literally lying on top of you and you want to kick his ass for breaking into your apartment and scaring the crap out of you but he's grinning that cocky smile you remember so well, love so much, like everything's right with the world and ... and you know you've missed his smile.

**- - -**

**Voice**

He doesn't stop talking - ever. You've just realized that he never talks about himself - anything but himself. _Kinda rainy, right, Sammy? God, burgers here are great! Gotta stop by this place more often. How're you feeling now, Sammy? _He doesn't ever talk how he's feeling, how he's _been_ but you let him talk anyway because you know you've missed his voice.

**- - -**

**Touch**

He's holding you up, one hand around your shoulders the other on your chest, feeling your heartbeat and you're bleeding from those nasty wounds from your eyes. He takes your face in his hands trying to gauge the extent of the damage and although your eyes are blurred with blood, you don't really need his help now but you let him hold you anyway bacause you know you've missed his touch.

**- - -**

**Protection**

He says that as long as he's around, _nothin' bad is gonna happen to you _and you drink in all the reassurance because you believe him, more that you believe anything else in the world. For the first time since Stanford, you feel safe. You feel warm inside. Real. He makes you feel like you're okay and when you look at him, gratitude shining in your eyes, you know you've missed his protection.

**- - -**

**Love**

He'd do anything for you, you've always known that but he keeps proving it again and again like he wants it imprinted in your brain. It already is. The mere thought of losing him makes you shiver and stay awake at night and when you turn to look at his sleeping face, facing you so that you're the first thing he sees when he wakes up, you know you've missed his love.

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**A/n : **Kinda short, huh? Sorry, I'm working on Friends That Count right now. Review!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer : **Not mine.

**A/n : **Dedicated to **Linnie McCary **who wanted to see the same kinda drabbles from Dean.

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**Reasons To Smile**

**Regret**

You stare at Sam as he interviews the woman opposite him. You're pretending to be officers so you can finish this spirit. She's plump and has long blonde hair and a smile that's gonna melt you in a minute. Then, Sam asks her something and she replies that her son goes to Oxford, _so sorry he's not here_ and Sam stops tapping the pen on the table. Your breath catches in your throat. He doesn't say anything on the ride back to the motel but you know. There're, truly, very few things you regret in this world but you never wanted this for Sam.

**- - -**

**Pride**

You watch Sam type away on the computer - in few seconds you know he's gonna have some information about the spirit. He proves you right, of course, and you grin, you're so damn proud of him. He chews on his fingernails as he types and, hell, you're proud of even that. You stare at him and you know it's shinig in your eyes but you won't let him see that. The second he turns away, though, it's back in your eyes and you whisper, _that's my boy._

**- - -**

**Respect**

Some people really don't deserve your respect. That's the reason you wanted to smoke Gordon, the man's a sadist. It disgusts you sometimes how warped people can become. Then you think about what Sammy said when you wanted to kill the bastard, he said _no_. And you smile, because opposite every bastard in this world, there's Sammy.

**- - -**

**Innocence**

You see it shining through him, sometimes, but you think you only imagined it. You only want it to be true, for Sammy to be that little boy you held in your arms at the hospital, that boy is dead. Then you catch him making faces at a toddler in a diner and you grin. Maybe he's not dead ... only lost. Because somewhere buried inside the torture, pain, motels, lies, things in the night, Sam's still little. Or maybe you just want it to be that way.

**- - -**

**Love**

He knows you inside out - the thought should bother you, but it doesn't. He's made up his own - dictionary of _Dean _and God knows why, but it makes you feel loved. He knows what you really mean by bitch_(little brother)_ and geek_(brainy)._ He knows what you mean by whatever_(I'm not really okay) _and we'll deal with it later_(don't leave, Sammy). _It makes you fell like you're someone, not just a shadow, that he's knows the meaning of I'll take care of it_ (I'll protect you, Sammy, ain't nothin' gonna hurt you)._

_Love you._

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**A/n : **Hmmm, not quite satisfied but review!!


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